Burying something isn't the same as being free of it. All it does it give it time to rot and poison everything around it.

It's okay to be pissed. And to hate, and to struggle and yell. There's no such thing as being better then all the nastiness inside you, and all the things you went through. You burn it for fuel and make something new out of it. As long as that's not all there is- and I know there's way more in you then that.