[it doesn't have to be about him: he doesn't want that whole fantasy of omnipotence to have been about him, he just wants to continue giving until he's reached his limit and then push beyond it. whatever happens to him when he returns happens, even if a part of him doesn't want it to. he shakes his head, knowing just how crazy it is.]

If everyone already looks to you like you're the law, you have all of the answers, you already start to act like you're a god, right? Before Anna died- the girl I told you about- I thought it was fantasy.

[he'd hoped it was. there was always something too dark in those fantasies for Thomas to dare ask about, and knowing he wouldn't get any answers kept him quiet.]