PEACE WEEKEND

[airlockedmods]

[It's your first week here, and you've been offered a fantastic prize for killing someone: an all-expense paid vacation! It's a pretty standard prize as far as reality game shows go.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), this isn't exactly a game show.

It seems that no one has died this weekend, and the deadline for the prize is now expired. There's no announcement from the Overseers to that effect; in fact, none of you have seen either of them since Tuesday. Maybe they'll make a reappearance soon, but for now, it seems that you've got a moment of peace.

Hopefully nothing happens to it.]

Comments

joint with karamatsu! THERE FINALLY

[titularly]

Osomatsu and Karamatsu’s DELIVERYYYYY SKIT!

[It’s around dinner time when the twins on the ship decide to announce that out of thin air. They’re standing on one of the tables, one of their arms raised above their heads with goofy looking grins on their faces and they continue whether people are paying attention or not.]

Biblical Stories that are Actually Realistic and Honestly Pathetic!!

[Both Karamatsu and Osomatsu seem to be wearing what look like togas made out of their own bedsheets from their respective rooms with their issued-attire still occasionally peeking out underneath. Usually their costumes would be a lot better than this, but they’re working with what they’ve got.

Right away, Karamatsu turns to Osomatsu with a scowl, his hands balled into fists at his sides.]

Why is it that Mommy favors you over me? I am the eldest! I till the soil and bring crops to our table! Without my hard work, we would not have any fresh vegetables to eat!

Cain-nii, [Osomatsu starts, looking hurt that his elder brother would accuse him of something like that so easily.]

I am the family’s shepherd! I tend to our sheep, who produce meat, dairy, and wool!

That may be true...but why is it, then, that my contributions are not as worthy to Mommy as yours if the work we do is identical? If anything, I work far harder than you do! Slaving away in the hot sun day in and day out, while your sheep sleep in the shade!

How dare you!

[The “younger” brother says this with a gasp, bringing a hand to his chest like Karamatsu had personally offended him.]

My sheep work hard for the family!! I don’t see you squeezing milk out of your nipples to make cheese to sell at the market!

And even if you could, it probably wouldn’t sell!!!

[Well, now it’s Karamatsu- er, Cain-nii’s turn to be offended. Though, it looks like he’s taking this a lot more personally than his brother. His face actually reddens with both embarrassment and anger, his balled fists trembling.]

You take that back, Abel.

Admit it, Cain-nii! You’re just mad that Mom likes me best!

[Even though Karamatsu’s using Mommy… Osomatsu can’t bring himself to do it even while acting.]

She always had since I was a baby, and she’s always gonna!

[And that, apparently, tears it. Karamatsu doesn’t even say anything else; he bends down and snatches up someone’s fork, possibly either from the table or right out of their hand, and thrusts it directly at Osomatsu with a cry, aiming to fake “stab” him by letting the tines of the fork pass between his arm and his side.

...except that he misses. He misses by a lot and stabs Osomatsu right in the bicep with the fork.]

AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[Aaaand that’s the scream not of an actor but of someone with a lot of Regrets, as Osomatsu jumps off the table and grips his bleeding bicep, wondering why the comedy gods have forsaken him.


...Dinner theatre is decidedly over.]

[karappo]

Oh God- O-Osomatsu!! Are you okay!? I am so sorry!!

[This is a fucking mess.]

[titularly]

YOU STABBED ME!!

[it's absolutely a mess]

YOU STABBED ME FOR REAL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!

[karappo]

I DID NOT MEAN TOOOOOO!!

[playthedamncard]

[It's perhaps thankful for everyone that it wasn't Kaiba's fork that got snatched up, or there might be more blood. As it is, he was willing to ignore it all until it Got Real, and now he's just...staring with a spoon in his hand hanging in mid-air.]

Is that what a nervous breakdown looks like from the outside?

[in4apounding]

[Penny isn't actually here for dinner, as usual, but she's passing by in time to see this, and-]

[Have some golf claps, guys.]

That was very dramatic! Is this the kind of work you usually do at home?

[Hang on.]

...Is Mister Osomatsu all right?

[titularly]

Do you think I'm alright?!

[HE HAS A FORK..... IN HIS ARM... well its out now that he's threatened his brother but still the sentiment is there.]

[in4apounding]

Oh- oh no, hang on! I'll get a first-aid kit!

[They have those in the storage room, right, either way, there she go.]

[kebakeba]

That was mine... [ she sounds so distraught about it sorry oso but her fork ]

[titularly]

Do you want it back?

[Osomatsu says this begrudgingly, holding out the bloodied fork with an expression of pure, pure hatred for the betrayal that happened in this diningroom tonight.]

[kebakeba]

...No thanks, I'm good. [ she'd rather not risk getting sick or something she isn't an expert but eating with a bloodied fork seems like a bad idea ]

[hellahighwater]

...

[ Booing. ]

[newcycle]

[ya'll]

............................. do you guys want a healer?

Actually, hold on. Let me get some water.

[titularly]

I mean someone else is already getting a first aid--- wait... what the hell would water help with in this situation?

[Well maybe to clean the cut..]

And 'healer'? Isn't that, like, some kind of MMORPG thing?

[newcycle]

[behold!!

She gets some water, and it's floating? Not only floating but GLOWING?]

I guess...? But I'm a healer, too.

OH MY GOD

[challengesfate]

[...Uh. Okay. So, that was happening. That was all really interesting and strange and Lucina hasn't ever heard this particular story before? But surely there are variations in Fire Emblem Land. And then we have a literal stabbing at dinner.

With a cry of surprise, Lucina's standing right the heck up from the table, her face going pale.]

Oh, Gods - what was that for?! What - a-are there bandages anywhere? We need bandages!

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

[ Okay, Zombina stares for a bit before starting to laugh at the skit. She has no idea what the fuck their doing, but whatever, it's funny. Well, at least until actual fork stabbing happens.]

Holy shit!

[Zombina gets up from the table she was eating at and runs over.]

Yo, Osomatsu-kun, are ya okay?

[Zombina kinda doubts any veins were hit, but still! Also damn she didn't realize Karamatsu was strong enough to actually stab someone with a fork.]

[unhappylittletrees]

...Is this what it's like to have brothers? Is this a normal brother thing?

[The worst his sister ever did to him when they were growing up was play open heart surgeon and one time kneed him in the nose practicing her martial arts.]

Are you okay, Osomatsu?

[titularly]

This ain't even touching the surface of what brothers get into, bro.

[Osomatsu lets out a sigh at that, like a seasoned war veteran.]

My arm will be okay but my heart will never heal.

[unhappylittletrees]

I suddenly feel weirdly lucky it was just Cindy and I growing up. Do you need a bandage or something? There's not, like, a first-aid room anywhere but we could probably find something.

[quadjumps]

[ what the fuck did he just witness ]

[theundertaken]

Uhhhhhh, what the fuck?

[why did this happen, why has he witnessed this with his own two eyes]

Do you, uh, need first aid...?

[titularly]

I... think I'm covered on that front.

[Since three people already offered...]

'sides, it's not even bleeding through my hoodie so it's probably fine, right?

[says the man who nearly murdered his own brother over it]

[theundertaken]

.....have you actually looked at it?

[keepmeinyourheart]

[What is a biblical story and why is Lunafreya feeling quite horrified with this....

We may never know as she just... she's going to just politely stare and wonder if she should go try and help.]