[It’s around dinner time when the twins on the ship decide to announce that out of thin air. They’re standing on one of the tables, one of their arms raised above their heads with goofy looking grins on their faces and they continue whether people are paying attention or not.]
Biblical Stories that are Actually Realistic and Honestly Pathetic!!
[Both Karamatsu and Osomatsu seem to be wearing what look like togas made out of their own bedsheets from their respective rooms with their issued-attire still occasionally peeking out underneath. Usually their costumes would be a lot better than this, but they’re working with what they’ve got.
Right away, Karamatsu turns to Osomatsu with a scowl, his hands balled into fists at his sides.]
Why is it that Mommy favors you over me? I am the eldest! I till the soil and bring crops to our table! Without my hard work, we would not have any fresh vegetables to eat!
Cain-nii, [Osomatsu starts, looking hurt that his elder brother would accuse him of something like that so easily.]
I am the family’s shepherd! I tend to our sheep, who produce meat, dairy, and wool!
That may be true...but why is it, then, that my contributions are not as worthy to Mommy as yours if the work we do is identical? If anything, I work far harder than you do! Slaving away in the hot sun day in and day out, while your sheep sleep in the shade!
How dare you!
[The “younger” brother says this with a gasp, bringing a hand to his chest like Karamatsu had personally offended him.]
My sheep work hard for the family!! I don’t see you squeezing milk out of your nipples to make cheese to sell at the market!
And even if you could, it probably wouldn’t sell!!!
[Well, now it’s Karamatsu- er, Cain-nii’s turn to be offended. Though, it looks like he’s taking this a lot more personally than his brother. His face actually reddens with both embarrassment and anger, his balled fists trembling.]
You take that back, Abel.
Admit it, Cain-nii! You’re just mad that Mom likes me best!
[Even though Karamatsu’s using Mommy… Osomatsu can’t bring himself to do it even while acting.]
She always had since I was a baby, and she’s always gonna!
[And that, apparently, tears it. Karamatsu doesn’t even say anything else; he bends down and snatches up someone’s fork, possibly either from the table or right out of their hand, and thrusts it directly at Osomatsu with a cry, aiming to fake “stab” him by letting the tines of the fork pass between his arm and his side.
...except that he misses. He misses by a lot and stabs Osomatsu right in the bicep with the fork.]
AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
[Aaaand that’s the scream not of an actor but of someone with a lot of Regrets, as Osomatsu jumps off the table and grips his bleeding bicep, wondering why the comedy gods have forsaken him.
joint with karamatsu! THERE FINALLY
[It’s around dinner time when the twins on the ship decide to announce that out of thin air. They’re standing on one of the tables, one of their arms raised above their heads with goofy looking grins on their faces and they continue whether people are paying attention or not.]
Biblical Stories that are Actually Realistic and Honestly Pathetic!!
[Both Karamatsu and Osomatsu seem to be wearing what look like togas made out of their own bedsheets from their respective rooms with their issued-attire still occasionally peeking out underneath. Usually their costumes would be a lot better than this, but they’re working with what they’ve got.
Right away, Karamatsu turns to Osomatsu with a scowl, his hands balled into fists at his sides.]
Why is it that Mommy favors you over me? I am the eldest! I till the soil and bring crops to our table! Without my hard work, we would not have any fresh vegetables to eat!
Cain-nii, [Osomatsu starts, looking hurt that his elder brother would accuse him of something like that so easily.]
I am the family’s shepherd! I tend to our sheep, who produce meat, dairy, and wool!
That may be true...but why is it, then, that my contributions are not as worthy to Mommy as yours if the work we do is identical? If anything, I work far harder than you do! Slaving away in the hot sun day in and day out, while your sheep sleep in the shade!
How dare you!
[The “younger” brother says this with a gasp, bringing a hand to his chest like Karamatsu had personally offended him.]
My sheep work hard for the family!! I don’t see you squeezing milk out of your nipples to make cheese to sell at the market!
And even if you could, it probably wouldn’t sell!!!
[Well, now it’s Karamatsu- er, Cain-nii’s turn to be offended. Though, it looks like he’s taking this a lot more personally than his brother. His face actually reddens with both embarrassment and anger, his balled fists trembling.]
You take that back, Abel.
Admit it, Cain-nii! You’re just mad that Mom likes me best!
[Even though Karamatsu’s using Mommy… Osomatsu can’t bring himself to do it even while acting.]
She always had since I was a baby, and she’s always gonna!
[And that, apparently, tears it. Karamatsu doesn’t even say anything else; he bends down and snatches up someone’s fork, possibly either from the table or right out of their hand, and thrusts it directly at Osomatsu with a cry, aiming to fake “stab” him by letting the tines of the fork pass between his arm and his side.
...except that he misses. He misses by a lot and stabs Osomatsu right in the bicep with the fork.]
AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
[Aaaand that’s the scream not of an actor but of someone with a lot of Regrets, as Osomatsu jumps off the table and grips his bleeding bicep, wondering why the comedy gods have forsaken him.
...Dinner theatre is decidedly over.]