Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[unhappylittletrees]

It was a lot of foil and he did it in like 45 minutes. It was kind of impressive. He even did the fish tank.

[wow, Penny, wow]

I'm only twenty-five. I'm working on getting my Masters'. And I'm, uh, Jamie. Nice to meet you, Penny.

[le_mat]

[he eyes Kaiba for a long moment, not hiding the fact that he's looking for a hint that he's being bullshitted. Apparently finding nothing, he pulls out a seat across from Kaiba and sits, elbows on the table and gaze fixed. We're doing this.]

Okay. So say this is a simulation. Would there be tells?

[discalibur]

They're... different? I had no idea! I suppose that does explain why the decor is so... bland.

But then what is the purpose of it...

[titularly]

I mean I'd take his title over mine, anyway.

[At least his is funny..]

"Champion Waste of Space"... how cruel is that? I haven't done anything wrong to deserve this kind of treatment!

[lmafo]

Oh yeah, when you text you text in code all the time. L-m-a-o, w-t-f, o-m-g, I just say them out loud too because I can.

[discalibur]

Well, that is... more difficult to explain. It would have to be generated somewhere, I suppose, but... someone with a better technological background would understand it better.

I'm not sure how a tome would factor into it...

[karappo]

...they would not give us titles like these, would they?

[He's not over his own yet, to be perfectly honest.]

Some other people got some unusual ones as well...

[titularly]

Nnnnnope!

[If he knew what was happening, things would be a lot easier wouldn't it..]

I just figured we were kidnapped by NASA for some kind of space program thing. Maybe they're gonna make us colonize Mars?

[discalibur]

Ah, yes, of course!

...They should have those, yes?

[boy he hopes so]

[keepmeinyourheart]

[This station was being run by a computer, how hard would it be to find one?] You sound as if you are familiar with doing things like this.

[She nods, looking around.] He is my bodyguard.

[titularly]

It's a space program!

[The NEET looks at this man like he's grown a second head, and he shakes his own with a little "tsk, tsk"]

They flew Lance Armstrong to the moon!

[..it's.. niel armstrong.. but okay]

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

There's a lot ta sciencey shit to explain with that question, but I'll do my best ta cover it all. I'm just gonna explain about me, the standard zombie, as getting into subspecies and shit open up a whooooole 'nother conversation.

[ Zombie 101 Exposition incoming!]

Well I guess I'm still sorta alive in that I have enough brain activity going on to continue functioning? Also while Zombies do count as a liminal race slash extra-species race or whatever ya wanna call 'em, we're more of an condition.

Like in the awesome movies about my kind, I were ta bite ya- or I guess prick you with a tooth, that'd work too since it doesn't need to be attached to me still to work, but where's the fun in that- then ya'd turn into a zombie.... if you were already close to death that is. If you're in good health and not on death's door, then my bite can't do shit 'cause the immune system can fight the virus off.

Otherwise, you're officially an awesome zombie! The only downside to the pretty much immortality is a lotta things. Like you pretty much can't feel pain. I mean you still have pleasure, but if you're as torn up as me, then a little pain to let you know 'Hey Zombina, you're fucking hand's fallen off again!' might be convenient. Ah right, you don't heal either, so if you get any tears or injuries then ya either gotta sew it back up or get another part entirely. So if ya don't take good care of yourself, you'll end up looking like me! But as long as enough of your brain is still intact, then you can survive some serious bullshit.

[She's pretty much patchwork.]

It makes for a great prank though, pulling off limbs! There's also rigor mortis. It'll happen if ya stay still too long. This makes sleep an huge pain in the ass though, 'cause if ya forget to do stretches before sleeping, then you'll be totally immobilized in the morning until someone massages ya.

[Speaking from experience there.]

Ah yeah, we don't have blood anymore either. Y'aint really got that shit anymore. Thanks to science, modern Zombies get preservative fluids made to be as blood like as possible but are toxic as hell to everyone who's not a zombie. Ya need ta get it replaced every three weeks or you'll start to rot and shit.

You'll still be functional-well until you're not- but if ya don't get more, then your brain will rot and you'll be like the Early Zombies from before preservative technology and shit. I mean, you'll still be going, but all the Early zombies' who's brains' aren't entirely still there are at the level of being in the state of a dude who just woke up from sleep.

If they don't wanna rot anymore then they gotta stay inside a refrigerated room most of the the time and can only go out in the winter! Sounds like an shitty and boring life to me.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that was Zombie 101 with me, Zombina-chan!

[Yes, she is literally named Zombina.]

[lmafo]

[ SWEET, PRECIOUS PENNY ]

It is one hundred percent a pleasure to meet you too, Penny. You got kidnapped too?

[keepmeinyourheart]

[Important? She hardly knew the man.]

He is as important to me as any person on Eos is.

[titularly]

Y'think so?

[Osomatsu says that almost incredulously, and he moves to lean against a wall, thoughtful about that for a moment.]

But we wouldn't need to use our legs anymore... well, whatever!

[A grin spreads across this NEET's face, and he reaches up to rub the back of his head a little sheepishly.]

My name is Osomatsu Matsuno! You're....?

[titularly]

...whoa.

[Osomatsu seems taken aback by that answer, and he physically leans back away from Manaka.]

You must be fun at parties.

[keepmeinyourheart]

[That is very rude. His name is just fine when it comes to Eos standards.]

Tenzin? No, I do not recall meeting anyone by that name. [And she's met a lot of people.]

[titularly]

Riiight?

[See, this guy totally gets it!]

I wasn't the kind of kid who wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up, but I totally see the appeal of it now!

[le_mat]

[he smiles and nods.]

It really is.

[there's a different quality to it then the view in Okamura's palace even if the location is similar. He's not ready to admit it's real, but it lacks that... pulp-y fakeness.]

[andjerry]

[He vaguely knows that term from a local kid mentioning a cartoon but again, Korra will probably ruin his day, so he only shakes his head with a confused smile.]

You should tell me about it while we're figuring out what's where.

1/2

[titularly]

[Osomatsu had a big grin on his face, seeing Zombina run to the window in awe like he had moments before. And his grin stays in place as he looks down at his hand... at the hand in his hand...]


....eh?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Eh, if ya say so dude. Though I must say, you're way less glittery than I was expecting. Color me pretty disappointed.

[She was expecting like 50% more sparkle than she got.]

I guess you really must be some kinda impressive to make someone wanna write something that long. There must be an awesome story behind a title that long.

[le_mat]

[he curses at himself softly- usually it was Ryuji talking Thief business too loudly. But his surprise doesn't show otherwise]

At least then we'd have better rooms.

[discalibur]

Very true. Jiiya once said that all men must aspire to greatness or be doomed to fall into obscurity.

Those who set their sights too low shall only ever be lowly themselves.

[titularly]

EHHH?! EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!

[Aaand that smile is gone as soon as it came, as he starts flailing his arm around in front of him as if it's a foreign object that was suddenly attached to his body out of nowhere, the hand still in his clutches as he doesn't think to just... let it go.]

EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, EW---