[She piles up her blankets and sleeps on the floor, sometimes, a remnant buzzing in her mind that she needs a pile for some undercurrent, alien reason. Stays up too late at the computer screen staring at screenshots until her eyes hurt. Trains her hand to work with the grip of a knife that she keeps at her side constantly, the weight of the blade a promise, a hope, even now tied to her leg under her skirt because how do you go around in life unarmed anymore. Holds a Chocobo and a wizard rabbit in her arms so tight that she feels like her weird, dual life is mushed together into one messy jigsaw of death and blood that stains her hands red red r e d]

...If you really want to watch it? I can't stop you. But I can't watch us myself. I can't...relive it. Seeing other people go through it was hard enough.