desperateprayer: (57)
Clarith ([personal profile] desperateprayer) wrote in [community profile] theairlock 2017-07-05 08:39 pm (UTC)

Because if we were wrong--if I was wrong--I couldn't let Queenie to be the one left to live with the consequences.

[ A deep breath. Did he not listen at all? She feels like it. ]

I can endure and survive. Queenie... Queenie would have lost everything. I made that choice because I trust you all, because I have faith in you. It's not about me being right or a martyr, Father. It's that I knew I could live with the consequences if I was wrong. Because you all helped me to come to that point. Yes, he could have been abusing my kindness. I'm not so naive and dumb to not consider that.

[ It's frustrating. Just because she's quiet, just because of her past, she feels... Underestimated. ]

...But I'm stronger now. I could live with what I did if I was wrong. I know that I could have misplaced my faith, but... If my leap didn't pay off, someone would be there to catch me--but no one would be there for Queenie if we all abstained and made the wrong choice.

[ ...She hopes he takes this to heart. ]

I thank Held I was right. But I know it was a slim chance. I know I took a gamble. And I know people may hate me for taking that path, or taking that choice, but all I can see when you insist that it was the right one is-- Is Queenie, sitting there, watching in horror as we're all killed before her eyes and she's left alone, with nothing left but the horror at what she's done and the "congratulations" that cuts like a knife. Because what if I was wrong to trust PAL at all? Because it was such a small chance it worked. I was terrified, Father. That we were reaching out to something not there. Because you're right. I had no way of knowing.

[ She's still terrified. She reaches up, wiping away a tear, shaking. Because he had kept this all in since the trial. ]

...I wake up every morning, expecting this to all be a dream. But it's not. We're here, and alive, and a gamble I took paid off. Because I trusted all of you.

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