...It was--it was kinda fun, at first. I mean, the joke of--'s a good joke, but I figured if you're gonna commit to the joke then--
...It wasn't serious, at first. It was just...banter. But it became...more when I...realized how much you actually needed someone to keep you grounded.
I'm used to assholes. [He points to himself emphatically.] Asshole number one, right here! I dated an asshole, my friends are assholes, my army's run by assholes, so guess what, you being an asshole? Didn't fucking faze me, dude. And maybe I don't have a shadow plague of daemons in my world, but I've seen some scary shit, so even your fuckface couldn't scare me off. Even if it's scary. Which it...is, yeah.
You were a good man. You started out so...nice to us all. You did! You were someone who went around and made sure people were okay, before anyone knew there was some dark shit in you--maybe even before you knew. Because remember? You didn't want to acknowledge it at all. But you were one of the people who, like it or not, made a point of keeping us stable. And then you deteriorated from there.
Meant someone had to make a point of keeping you stable, too.
And I guess I took to the...the 'job' because that's the job I'd had before. In a way. Not like a big fancy title, by I...I'm a shield to my team. And a leader, and a planner. Even when things looked impossible, it took even more than impossible to make me give up. It gave me something to do, gave me...like, a purpose. Instead of just being some schmuck sitting around cracking jokes and being horrified by accidental-on-purpose deaths that have no point other than to horrify, I could at least make a point to make sure my roomie wasn't turning into a monster if I could help it.
And I helped it. I know I did. I know there were a few times when I don't know what you would've done, what you would've become if I hadn't done something, said something, if I wasn't there for you. Maybe that's partly trying to help everyone else.
...I don't know if you're looking for me to pinpoint one specific moment, because I don't think there was. Not just one moment. A lot of moments. Big moments, sometimes. But also little moments. That showed that for whatever you were convinced you were, there was just enough humanity left that was worth it. A series of moments that morphed it from a joke to realizing that maybe you really did need a Shield. I've seen you, and I knew there was something to protect in there.
Pushing us, pushing me away only made me fight that much harder. Because you needed it. And...maybe I needed it, too. Someth--someone. To fight for.
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...It wasn't serious, at first. It was just...banter. But it became...more when I...realized how much you actually needed someone to keep you grounded.
I'm used to assholes. [He points to himself emphatically.] Asshole number one, right here! I dated an asshole, my friends are assholes, my army's run by assholes, so guess what, you being an asshole? Didn't fucking faze me, dude. And maybe I don't have a shadow plague of daemons in my world, but I've seen some scary shit, so even your fuckface couldn't scare me off. Even if it's scary. Which it...is, yeah.
You were a good man. You started out so...nice to us all. You did! You were someone who went around and made sure people were okay, before anyone knew there was some dark shit in you--maybe even before you knew. Because remember? You didn't want to acknowledge it at all. But you were one of the people who, like it or not, made a point of keeping us stable. And then you deteriorated from there.
Meant someone had to make a point of keeping you stable, too.
And I guess I took to the...the 'job' because that's the job I'd had before. In a way. Not like a big fancy title, by I...I'm a shield to my team. And a leader, and a planner. Even when things looked impossible, it took even more than impossible to make me give up. It gave me something to do, gave me...like, a purpose. Instead of just being some schmuck sitting around cracking jokes and being horrified by accidental-on-purpose deaths that have no point other than to horrify, I could at least make a point to make sure my roomie wasn't turning into a monster if I could help it.
And I helped it. I know I did. I know there were a few times when I don't know what you would've done, what you would've become if I hadn't done something, said something, if I wasn't there for you. Maybe that's partly trying to help everyone else.
...I don't know if you're looking for me to pinpoint one specific moment, because I don't think there was. Not just one moment. A lot of moments. Big moments, sometimes. But also little moments. That showed that for whatever you were convinced you were, there was just enough humanity left that was worth it. A series of moments that morphed it from a joke to realizing that maybe you really did need a Shield. I've seen you, and I knew there was something to protect in there.
Pushing us, pushing me away only made me fight that much harder. Because you needed it. And...maybe I needed it, too. Someth--someone. To fight for.