God, Donut would flip if he saw me fucking ballroom dancing. He'd never let me live down my terrible form. He'd insist I get it right. [A good spin. No dip, but a good spin.] Tex would definitely call me a nerdy fuck, but she'd dig it. Secretly. I'd know. Tucker might find it funny and insist that club dancing is the best way to pick up chicks. Caboose would try. Bless his stupid oxygen-deprived heart, he'd try. Sarge probably line dances. Simmons would do the robot because he's a geeky shit who I in no way can imagine dancing. Grif wouldn't, because that involves getting up and moving. Doc might do a cute shuffle, I dunno. Lopez might salsa. I don't know. That might be racist? That might be racist to assume he can salsa. He sure can't fucking sing, that's for sure.

[He might be babbling again. This is a distraction.]