Queenie's got Nishi, [he starts a little morosely, same shit he said to Clarith] and Junpei's got a girlfriend now. And you...
[It isn't so much the idea of the tag team confronting Ardyn and making that pact, he's sure that helped. It's the mention of the party that surprises him. But why should it--after all, Ardyn had started that tease all over again in the bar. Maybe hadn't really wanted to, was certainly struggling over himself, but it had clearly...made an impact.
What would he have done without all that? Nothing that Church wants to think about.
He, too, surreptitiously looks around, then gently knocks their hands together, intertwines fingers, tugs toward the door. Even just out in the hallway, they're bound to have a little more privacy. They move out silently, away from the doorway and out of sight unless someone should leave or follow them for some poorly thought out reason. Church stares at the floor between them chewing his lip for a few moments, the touch of hand becoming a more proper grip.]
I know I at least made a difference with Junpei. I'm his best friend. He's...pretty sure he's never had one before. But he's got a girlfriend, and he's got other friends, and, look, we're a team. The team sticks together. [Unless orders drive them apart.] But I--I dunno, I figure he can at least go on without me if it comes to that.
[This is all important. And Church has, for better or worse, started clinging to whatever matters. No matter the reason. He looks up at Ardyn at last.]
You're the only one I feel like I've really, really truly helped out. That I've made a real difference with, and Queenie doesn't understand, maybe she's right, but she doesn't see you the way I get to see you. Maybe you don't know who or what you are right now, but you're...here. You're still here, and you haven't killed yourself or anyone else, so, y'know, that's a positive, and you're... I'm here to help you. And I feel like I'm doing that. I don't--I don't really--I dunno that I've really had as big an impact on everyone else that you think I do, but I know it's at least true for you.
If we get out and you really feel that tired that you need to find and end to it, I will fucking pull the trigger myself if I have to, but while you're still here I want to make sure you live. Not just make sure you stay alive, but that you live. As much as you can.
...And maybe that's what I help the others do. Even if just for...for an hour or two before everything goes to shit again and people do things like this. It doesn't feel like it lasts. I know it lasts with you. So at least for that, I'm glad to be your Shield.
cw: suicidal ideation
[It isn't so much the idea of the tag team confronting Ardyn and making that pact, he's sure that helped. It's the mention of the party that surprises him. But why should it--after all, Ardyn had started that tease all over again in the bar. Maybe hadn't really wanted to, was certainly struggling over himself, but it had clearly...made an impact.
What would he have done without all that? Nothing that Church wants to think about.
He, too, surreptitiously looks around, then gently knocks their hands together, intertwines fingers, tugs toward the door. Even just out in the hallway, they're bound to have a little more privacy. They move out silently, away from the doorway and out of sight unless someone should leave or follow them for some poorly thought out reason. Church stares at the floor between them chewing his lip for a few moments, the touch of hand becoming a more proper grip.]
I know I at least made a difference with Junpei. I'm his best friend. He's...pretty sure he's never had one before. But he's got a girlfriend, and he's got other friends, and, look, we're a team. The team sticks together. [Unless orders drive them apart.] But I--I dunno, I figure he can at least go on without me if it comes to that.
[This is all important. And Church has, for better or worse, started clinging to whatever matters. No matter the reason. He looks up at Ardyn at last.]
You're the only one I feel like I've really, really truly helped out. That I've made a real difference with, and Queenie doesn't understand, maybe she's right, but she doesn't see you the way I get to see you. Maybe you don't know who or what you are right now, but you're...here. You're still here, and you haven't killed yourself or anyone else, so, y'know, that's a positive, and you're... I'm here to help you. And I feel like I'm doing that. I don't--I don't really--I dunno that I've really had as big an impact on everyone else that you think I do, but I know it's at least true for you.
If we get out and you really feel that tired that you need to find and end to it, I will fucking pull the trigger myself if I have to, but while you're still here I want to make sure you live. Not just make sure you stay alive, but that you live. As much as you can.
...And maybe that's what I help the others do. Even if just for...for an hour or two before everything goes to shit again and people do things like this. It doesn't feel like it lasts. I know it lasts with you. So at least for that, I'm glad to be your Shield.