You wanna know about the dumbasses from home? Cuz they're a trip. Like, just on the Blue side alone, there's Tucker, the stupid womanizer who can't resist a sex joke. He'd think this place was heaven for the ladies. He's the one that had an alien kid who's also part of some dumb prophecy that doesn't matter anymore. Caboose is literally dumber than a brick. I don't know what happened that he even managed to make it into the army. Or put his armor on in the morning. I mean, I think he's more or less picked it up now that he's been shown often enough, but still. He's convinced we're best friends. We're the main part of the team.

Then there's Grif's sister Kaikaina, who wears yellow and is colorblind and so she joined the wrong team at first. She uh. She's got stories. Weird sex stories. And there's Captain Flowers--he's dead now, again, but he led the team before he died, and what a weirdo. Like a Bob Ross type if Bob Ross made you feel really uncomfortable instead of peaceful. And Tex, she's a Freelancer, but an honorary Blue because we paid her to help us out and then she was sort of stuck with us. A real mean bitch of a lady and the scariest force to be reckoned with.