[ ... He's glad that Nishitani is willing to listen. He's... also glad to listen to what he says. He stays quiet, considers what he's being told...
And he does agree. Queenie is too innocent for her own good. When he says that, he gets a light nod and a snort. But the rest--maybe he's right. Maybe they're just two idiots doing what needs to be done. ]
... No, I'm the same way. I told the Embryon that if I wasn't any use to them... they could kill me. I wanted their trust. I wanted... to make up for how they'd been treated. Like feral animals, and not people, just because they could turn into demons.
[ A pause. He has to think about this next bit. ]
I'm... just a writer, when it comes down to it. I really don't think I'm fit for what's happening, but Greg asked me to lead the Lokapala. So I am. I'm leading them as best as I can manage. I'm trying to keep our people safe, to keep them out of being turned into processed food like a god damn fish. ... I wish I could say I'd stayed sober. I wanted to, but this place... I don't think I'm strong enough to make it without a drink.
[ A small laugh, and he shakes his head. ]
... You're right, though. Maybe all of that is okay. ... I think when it comes down to it, what I'm worried about is disappointing people. I... feel you could do a lot better than me, Nishitani. I'm not exactly the most confident man in himself, and my morals are shaky at best. But if you can put that aside, I'm willing to try.
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And he does agree. Queenie is too innocent for her own good. When he says that, he gets a light nod and a snort. But the rest--maybe he's right. Maybe they're just two idiots doing what needs to be done. ]
... No, I'm the same way. I told the Embryon that if I wasn't any use to them... they could kill me. I wanted their trust. I wanted... to make up for how they'd been treated. Like feral animals, and not people, just because they could turn into demons.
[ A pause. He has to think about this next bit. ]
I'm... just a writer, when it comes down to it. I really don't think I'm fit for what's happening, but Greg asked me to lead the Lokapala. So I am. I'm leading them as best as I can manage. I'm trying to keep our people safe, to keep them out of being turned into processed food like a god damn fish. ... I wish I could say I'd stayed sober. I wanted to, but this place... I don't think I'm strong enough to make it without a drink.
[ A small laugh, and he shakes his head. ]
... You're right, though. Maybe all of that is okay. ... I think when it comes down to it, what I'm worried about is disappointing people. I... feel you could do a lot better than me, Nishitani. I'm not exactly the most confident man in himself, and my morals are shaky at best. But if you can put that aside, I'm willing to try.