welcome to the mansion

[airlockedmods]

[The Champions wake up not in a bed, but alone on a plush, velvet seat. Some may recognize the backseat of a limousine, while some may not, but the windows are tinted black inside and out, and there's no chauffeur. All are wearing expensive formalwear, no matter what they thought they were wearing before.

The door opens by an unseen hand and reveals a gravel drive with a red carpet and a lavish fountain. Others are already there, and more limousines continue to pull up afterward. The front doors are locked, and overhead curls a large protective glass dome, keeping the cold void of space at bay, but hey, there's also an unparalleled view of the stars.]

Hey there, Champions, welcome to the IGS Fantasy Sweet. I'm PAL, your onboard maintenance system for this location. Your Overseer will arrive shortly. Please be patient.

Comments

A

[cameupshort]

Whoa!

[That looked... he's not sure like what, exactly, beyond something that hurt. A lot.]

What the- are you okay?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Guhh, do I... look like I'm okay, asshole?

[Junpei decides the dignified thing to do is to just flop in the gravel and curl into the fetal position around his arm.]

Don't try to--take the thing off. [Wheeze.] 'S... zappy.

[cameupshort]

[Wow, rude much? Fine, he won't help. ...besides squatting beside Junpei because standing while talking to a dude on the ground is really awkward.]

It shocked you? ...are you sure it's not just broken?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Ergh... fine, try yours if you want. Aaaggghh...

[Yeah, he's. Just gonna keep lying here and count silently until the ouchies stop.]

[cameupshort]

...I mean if it'll make sure-

[Okay seriously do you need medical attention.]

[Meanwhile FN-2187 is just gonna tug at his own PIP and-]

AH-

[Okay.]

[That was not nearly as big a shock as Junpei got, but it hurt.]

[A lot.]

...They're not broken.

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Probably because FN-2187 did not just unwittingly try to yank out his entire nervous system through his arm. FN-2187 is perhaps smarter than Junpei Tenmyouji.]

Excellent... inductive reasoning, man.

[Junpei lies there a moment longer, then says:]

Okay, Watson. Think... think I'm all right. Help me up.

[cameupshort]

Most datapads don't do that, OW-

[He's gonna be hunched over his arm for a second here.]

"Watson"?

[He doesn't get the reference, but he's gonna hold out his non-tingly hand anyway.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

You know, Dr. Watson? Assistant to Sherlock Holmes?

[With the offered help, Junpei manages to get back to his feet. Uuugghhgh. He braces himself on his knees for a while, hoping his heart will stop freaking out sometime soon.]

Remind me not to do that again anytime soon. Like, "in my lifetime" soon.

[cameupshort]

Oh, right! Sherlock Holmes.

[Yeah, he has no idea who that is.]

I'll try to remember that if I see you trying to take off the badly-designed datapad again.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Then again, I guess if I am stupid enough to try, I deserve to suffer inglorious levels of pain. God.

[He wipes the sweat from his face with his other sleeve, then, wincing, looks warily at the PIP.]

Why... why'd they have to attach it, shit.

[cameupshort]

There's got to be some way to deactivate them.

[You don't just build something without an off-switch, right?]

...Maybe they're acting like some kind of tracking device?

[That would bode even more poorly than the whole kidnapping thing has already.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

They could've locked it on like a normal kidnapper!

[WHY THIS, FN-numbernumber##!]

[cameupshort]

There's such a thing as a normal kidnapping?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Well--there's kidnapping without crazy sci-fi monitor implant surgery!

[cameupshort]

Wait, you think these were surgically attached?! I thought- OW!

[And, unfortunately, trying to get a good look at the underside of the PIP registers as an attempt at taking it off.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

I told you--I told you, man!

[i warned you dogg!!!!]

That's more than an external shock, isn't it?

[cameupshort]

[IT KEEPS HAPPENING]

Augh- I guess?! I haven't had a lot of chance to compare electric shocks before!

[misanthropicprinciple]

The--the collars people put on their dogs only makes them yelp a little!

[cameupshort]

[What's a dog]

That's a hell of a lot more than a yelp, ow-

[misanthropicprinciple]

I thought I was dying. That's what death feels like. I'm completely sure.

[cameupshort]

Hell, don't even joke about that.

[It's been less than a day since Slip literally died in his arms, he does not want a repeat of that.]

I mean- at least if you're feeling pain, you're not dead yet?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Well, hooray for me. Ughh. What even is this piece of crap.

[He pokes at it, then seems surprised when it lights up.]

...This is not how I wanted to win a free tablet.

[cameupshort]

...Are datapads that uncommon on your world?

[The simple ones are basically equivalent to those shitty spiral-bound notebooks you can get at a convenience store, really.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[He glances up briefly to give Finn an odd look.]

No, they're everywhere. It was a joke, dude. ...Shit, what is this--they have profiles on us?

[cameupshort]

Yeah, it- looks like there's one for everyone here. I don't know how accurate it all is, though.