Jane Crocker (
cyan_maid) wrote in
theairlock2017-03-18 07:28 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Entry tags:
Onward, Into Darkness
[Around dinnertime, when everyone has gone to their rooms and had their time to think about the day, a note is slipped underneath your door. It reads:
I've made soup for everyone tonight.
It would be a kindness if you were to come to the cafeteria and partake.
- Jane
And, true to the letter, when you enter the cafeteria, you're hit with the distinct smell of pumpkin. There's a large covered pot on one of the tables filled to the brim with a sweet pumpkin soup full of carrots and sweet potatoes, a ladle beside the pot, and a stack of bowls and spoons. There's even enough cutlery for Bolton and Jamie to come, if they want to show up - Jane is, if anything, an excellent host. Please help yourself! There's plenty more! is on a folded bit of paper beside the pot, but where is Jane?
Well, the kitchen door is propped open, and she's very diligently working on scraping out the remains of a huge, tasty pumpkin and setting the seeds aside. She sniffs every once in a while, and her face is a blotchy mess, but she's still going. Having something to do seems to keep her from diving too deeply into despair.
Just...don't let her, or yourselves, be distracted forever.]
I've made soup for everyone tonight.
It would be a kindness if you were to come to the cafeteria and partake.
- Jane
And, true to the letter, when you enter the cafeteria, you're hit with the distinct smell of pumpkin. There's a large covered pot on one of the tables filled to the brim with a sweet pumpkin soup full of carrots and sweet potatoes, a ladle beside the pot, and a stack of bowls and spoons. There's even enough cutlery for Bolton and Jamie to come, if they want to show up - Jane is, if anything, an excellent host. Please help yourself! There's plenty more! is on a folded bit of paper beside the pot, but where is Jane?
Well, the kitchen door is propped open, and she's very diligently working on scraping out the remains of a huge, tasty pumpkin and setting the seeds aside. She sniffs every once in a while, and her face is a blotchy mess, but she's still going. Having something to do seems to keep her from diving too deeply into despair.
Just...don't let her, or yourselves, be distracted forever.]
no subject
Jane-chan...?
no subject
[Jane doesn't sound okay when she speaks - if anything, her voice is rough and tired - and she doesn't look away from her work, either, but she's not denying anyone entry. That's why the door's open.]
Did you have some soup, Miss Yurika? I didn't really know what to put in it other than more orange stuff.
[She couldn't stand being in the greenhouse for any longer than it took to get what she did.]
no subject
no subject
[She doesn't want anyone to take work away from her, but it's probably better for her to sit and cry and process everything, not play at being strong.]
...But I can still talk while I'm doing it, if you want to talk.
no subject
[Yurika steadies herself with a hand on the countertop.]
I had that whistle sent to Kurumi-chan to keep her safe, I knew she had a tendency to lash out, she must have been so scared and I couldn't help any of them! Lightning-san said I needed to be the heart of this group, but I'm scared and I can't let them know it! I'm sorry... I never even told Kurumi-chan she was right...
no subject
Jane jolts at the apology, dropping whatever pumpkin guts she's been working with, and whirls around to look at Yurika as she goes on. Initially, there's a gaping, dark doom that opens up in her heart to hear Yurika finally break down like this. She's always been strong, brave-faced, even in the midst of the personal failings she'd remembered...but...that tone of voice strikes Jane too much like her own. Shaking, she wipes her hands roughly on her thighs before coming forward.]
M-Miss Yurika...it...it's not wrong to be scared, you know...h-how could you have known what would happen? You were only...
[There's a squeeze in Jane's heart at the words she wants to say, and they almost stop her, but no - no, she needs to share them. She needs to be there for the people who helped keep her standing. How could she accept any kindness if she didn't return it?]
...You only wanted to make sure she was safe. Because you care. A-And, right now, you're scared because you care. And that's o-okay, we can...we can be scared together and it's okay...
no subject
no subject
It's okay. This...place has been mostly scary. If you're not scared after everything that's happened, then...then you're not okay, right?
no subject
You're right. Even if we've had a lot of fun here, the whole time, we've been terrified with good reason. There are people out there running our lives in here, and there's a mystery we have to solve together. Every one of us has problems individually, but that's why we need to work through them as a group, right?
no subject
[She loves the help. She's craved the help for more than she realizes, but if she's going to be stronger then she can't ask for that help. It feels like a hot coal in her stomach, but if she could hold her tongue around Jake for five months, she can...she can wait until things are calm to get opinions on hammering out the mess of her life.]
I want - I want us to be free, first. Really, truly free.
no subject
no subject
[As for being touched by this...they'll always have it with them. The horror, the guilt, the imagery. The sense of failure. But over time, perhaps, it won't be so hurtful.]
no subject
no subject
[But let's please put her problems aside, please. Too many people are hurting.]
no subject
no subject
[Her best will never be enough.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
If...if you say so.
no subject
no subject
...I'm glad that I'm not alone, at least.
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)