the mock mingle

[airlockedmods]

[An hour ago you woke up in a bed that wasn't yours, awakened by a chirpy, feminine voice coming from the device on your non-dominant arm. The voice cheerfully requests that you exit your sleeping quarters and to please make your way to the the main deck of the ship for a debriefing on your circumstances.

It was around this time you might have noticed the clothes you last remember wearing are gone and replaced with this little number. If you take a moment to check out the Personal Identification Program on your arm, you'll find a touch screen with a few icons that lead to a series of 21 profiles and a series of apps that lead to note-taking functions and a number of customization appearance screens. The profiles all contain a photo of each Champion, their name and title, their age, species and world of origin.

As you stumbled out of your chrome-y quarters (into an equally chrome-y hallway), with every step the floor lights up under your feet, illuminating the dark ship a little at a time. On one side of the hallway are a series of mechanical doors with screen pads embedded on the walls next to them. A quick flash of your PIP will open them for you without hassle. On the opposite side of the hallway are a long string of windows showing nothing but vast amounts of stars and the deep, dark blackness of deep space. Once you reach the end of the hallway you'll find a large central living space with 20 other people, the same people from the profiles, either there already or filing in along with you. Floating well above everyone's heads in the middle of the room is a large computer screen. Once everyone piled in, the screen blinked to life and the same voice from your PIPs greeted you in the same peppy tone from before.

The voice introduced herself as the Champion Excellence Control Environment or C.E.C.E. before welcoming you to the Deep Space Champion Excellence Program, explaining that you were selected for this program based on being the best in your particular field in your particular world, hence the title of "Champion". In this program you will be expected to live communally together here on the ship for as long as possible. The ship is fully-functional and fully-stocked for an extended stay.

Oh? You don't want to stay and participate in the program? That's alright, there's an easy fix to that! All you have to do is kill one of your fellow Champions and not get caught. That is easy enough, right? Right.

When the debriefing is complete, the screen dims but doesn't turn off completely. If need be C.E.C.E. is available to answer any more questions you have throughout the week. For now, you're free to explore the ship as you like. There's the communal dining hall, a zero gravity room, a kitchen, a holo deck, the central living area and the personal quarters everyone woke up in.

Go make some friends, dears, you may be here a while.]

Comments

Re: MONDAY

[returnofme]

[... this was not the Forest Moon of Endor. These weren't his clothes either. Worst of all, he was having a hard time feeling the Force.]

I have a bad feeling about this...

[C.E.C.E.]

... I'm assuming that this is some program of Emperor Palpatine's. You might not have heard about it since it just happened, but he's dead now. You don't have to keep us here if you don't want to.

[Guess who ALSO assumes he's still in his own galaxy (far, far away)?]

[Open]

[For the remainder of the day, Luke spends his time exploring the ship, visiting the various rooms in turn. You might find him in the kitchen, wrinkling his nose at the not-at-all blue milk. Or maybe in the living area, flopped on a couch and sighing.]

living area

[strikemonster]

What's a moisture farmer?

[She's tracked him down specifically to ask this - most of the other titles she understands generally, but she flat-out doesn't know what a "Moisture Farmer" could possibly be.]

Re: living area

[returnofme]

[Luke blinks at her.]

Oh right, you're probably from a world with a lot of water. The planet I come from was mostly desert. But people still need water. So you have what are called moisture farms. They pull down the water from the atmosphere using vaporators. My aunt and uncle used to have one.

[strikemonster]

[That seems fake, but space politics class keeps her from saying that out loud. It's impolite to question other planets' cultures.]

Resourceful. [She nods. Then, slightly belated:] I'm Mai. It's nice to meet you.

[returnofme]

[Sorry, there's nothing fake about Tatooine.]

Luke Skywalker. It's nice to meet you too.

living area

[betterthangarlond]

[ Here is a tol man. (Also tall.)

He is looking over you, Luke. ]

...You look like a farm boy.

[ Nero sounds a little... not grumpy at that. A little bit. ]

Re: living area

[returnofme]

I was a farm boy. I'm not really anymore, but try telling this thing. [He gestures to his PIP.]

[betterthangarlond]

It does seem quite... disappointing. To think, it would simply think of me as a champion of Puns - not of restoring ancient devices.

[ huff huff. But he was once a farm boy. He can respect those who aren't anymore. ]

What title should I call you then, Skywalker?

[returnofme]

Jedi, I suppose. I'm sort of the only one around right now.

[airlockedmods]

I'm afraid I do not recognize that name, Mr. Skywalker. But I have the feeling that it is a good thing he is dead. I'm very proud of you, perhaps a change of your title is in order.

[returnofme]

... it is, actually, but I didn't do it. [That was his father.]

Kitchen

[semperperatus]

...Something wrong with the milk?

[Snff. Snf....? It doesn't smell sour.]

Re: Kitchen

[returnofme]

It's white. I don't think this is bantha milk at all.

kitchen

[waitforit]

[ LUKE. FUCKING. SKYWALKER. Holy freaking shit. Barney thought the hedgehog dude was weird but this is like... well, like a normal person meeting Darth Vader. Except it's LUKE and holy shit. He's freaking out a little.

Play it cool, Barney. Play it cool and—oh my god the thing with the milk, Ted is going to flip if he knew Barney met actual Luke Skywalker.

Okay, he can do this. Barney walks up and chuckles, trying his best not to Ted out about this. It's just saying hi to a dude. Don't be weird, Barney. ]

Not the milk you're looking for, huh?

[ I mean he wasn't gonna quote Vader right off the bat. ]

Re: kitchen

[returnofme]

[Luke looks up from the milk.] Not really, no. I was hoping to find Bantha milk--what kind of animal gives white milk?

[waitforit]

[ Barney's so excited he might ramble a bit... ]

There's these things called cows, or I guess goats too, but they're from Earth which is a planet far, far away from yours.

[ He can't stop himself if he tried. So much for trying to play it cool. ]

How is Tatooine by the way? I'm a big fan.

[ Of his dad, anyway, but this is close enough. ]

[returnofme]

Earth... no, I haven't heard of it? Is it a Core World? Or just on the other side of the Outer Rim.

[He blinks at Barney.]

Why... would you be a fan of Tatooine? It's... well, it's awful. The Hutts own everything--half of everyone--and the Sand People are out to kill you.

[waitforit]

It's... in the Milky Way. Different galaxy. Probably a different time, going by the "long ago" in the intro crawl.

[ Now he's just talking nonsense. But hearing Luke Skywalker talk about the Hutts is too damn good to pass up. Barney smiles, probably inappropriately, at every work out of Luke's mouth. ]

Ohhh, man, that is so cool. [ Ted would kill him. Marshall is gonna kill him. THIS IS LUKE SKYWALKER. ] I actually meant you, though. I mean, your dad's like, way cooler, (no offense.) [ He even lowers his voice to a stage whisper there, but it's not like Luke can't hear it. Naturally he follows it up with a chipper, fake smile. ] But, hey! You're cool too! Second best is still the best to somebody.

[returnofme]

Intro crawl?

[What the kriff is an intro crawl?]

... you know about my father?

[waitforit]

Ha! Don't worry about it, bro.

[ He hasn't told Shadow he's from a video game, he ain't telling Luke he's from a movie. ]

Oh, yeah. Great dude, your pops. He's one of my role models. [ BARNEY, THAT'S DARTH VADER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. ] Back home everyone knows about your dad, you, your whole... saving the galaxy thing. Everyone cool, anyway.

[ What kind of a loser hasn't seen Star Wars? ]

[returnofme]

[Okay, but is his dad your role model as Darth Vader or as Anakin Skywalker because that could mean two different things ok ok.]

Really? We only really just saved it yesterday. I guess news travels fast.

kitchen

[overears]

[Number Three's in the kitchen looking for something she can use to eat with- but the guy making faces at the milk is enough to make her pause.]

Are you lactose intolerant, or....?

Re: kitchen

[returnofme]

... lactose intolerant? No. The milk's just the wrong color. So's the butter and cheese, actually.

Kitchen

[stitch_in_time]

[If it were just the name, the Doctor might've chalked it up to coincidence. The entirety of Luke's profile, though? If he hadn't already suspected they'd been pulled from alternate timelines, that alone almost sealed it. All of time and space produced more coincidences than an infinite number of monkeys on typewriters, but there was no real planet called Tatooine that the Doctor had ever heard of.]

It's probably not poisoned, at least. If they just wanted us dead or drugged, we already would be.

Re: Kitchen

[returnofme]

[Luke nods.] I know. I'm just... surprised to the color. Where I come from, most people drink Bantha milk.