Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[ratherdoweddings]

I sure hope not. But the UEAF can't be trying to kill us, and why would the Jovians kidnap a bunch of people like this?

[cyan_maid]

[Okay so she knows she's not the only one here, yes, but - what in the fresh googly moogly does any of that mean?]

Um...sorry, I don't know of any UEAF or Jovians. I highly doubt it could be them, whoever they are.

[ratherdoweddings]

You don't know the United Earth Armed Forces? Or the aliens who have been attacking us? Where did you come from?

[cyan_maid]

...I'm from Earth, of course - but I certainly don't know anything about any armed forces or attacking aliens.

[ratherdoweddings]

So many people are saying things like that. It doesn't make sense! How can such important things not match up?

[cyan_maid]

[She's trying so hard not to fix this strange woman with a flat stare. Really, it's an incredible challenge - her knee-jerk assumption is that she's being pranked, on top of being kidnapped and/or prepped for being assassinated.]

That is unfortunately not in my realm of expertise, ma'am.

[ratherdoweddings]

I'm starting to think nothing here is going to match up between any of us.

[cyan_maid]

Probably not - other than the fact that we're all here now. And...stuck with weird footie pajamas to wear.

[Fucking clingy, way too clingy footie pajamas, this is embarrassing, this is weird, can she have her clothes back please? Please???]

[ratherdoweddings]

I know! Our uniforms from Nergal were much nicer.

[cyan_maid]

[...The fuck is Nergal.]

Do you think our regular clothes might be somewhere? They - they must be somewhere, right? Someone had to...

[She doesn't finish her sentence, just blushes a bit and gestures to herself.]

[ratherdoweddings]

Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

[cyan_maid]

[AUGH JESUS FUCK]

I-I'm sorry!! It's not like I'm happy about it either!!!

[ratherdoweddings]

That's completely disgusting! I didn't want to think about that, and now I can't stop!

[cyan_maid]

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!!! If it is any consolation, I cannot stop thinking about it either!

[ratherdoweddings]

Gross, gross, gross! And some of us aren't even legal -- ewwwwwwwww!

[cyan_maid]

[Yes hello here's someone in that category]

It's like throwing insult onto injury! Eeeugh!

[ratherdoweddings]

If they didn't have a rule against it, I'd walk up and punch them just for that. I still want to do it anyway!

[cyan_maid]

[...This is actually something something Jane can agree with.]

Well, what exactly is the rule? How is it worded?

[ratherdoweddings]

Um... "Violence against the Overseers is highly discouraged, and will result in appropriate retaliation up to and including an official punishment. Destruction of the security cameras is forbidden." I'm not really sure why that last part is there and not on its own rule, unless destroying the security cameras hurts them somehow, but that doesn't make sense.

[cyan_maid]

Well...how do we know that these "Overseers" are the ones who actually...messed with our belongings? What if they made someone else do it? There's no rule about punching them, is there?

[JANE.........]

[ratherdoweddings]

Oh! If they've got employees underneath them! Good idea. But how could we find that out?

[cyan_maid]

I'm not sure. We might have to observe things when the Overseers will think we're asleep...in places where they don't think we'll likely be, at that. It'll take some work, but surely just by investigating the possibilities, we can figure out who it is we need to deck in the face.

[ratherdoweddings]

I sure hope so. They'll hear it from us! Though all those cameras...

[cyan_maid]

...

[Oh dammit.]

Where...are the cameras, anyway...?

[ratherdoweddings]

Probably all over this place. They seem serious about this.